Friday, September 24, 2010

not really feeling like me

something's off. something's going on and I can't explain it. almost like an itch that you can't seem to find. my life has become one big itch that I can't scratch.

most of you know that I suffer from a huge case of wanderlust. I love being with Baby Butterbean every day, but I miss being social. I absolutely hate being stuck out in this podunk town so far away from civilization. don't get me wrong, I love small towns, but not when they're so far away from everyone and everything that I love.

so lately this has had me in sort of a funk. I'm feeling very withdrawn and anti-social. not depressed, just out of sorts.

on top of that, I fill very unsuccessful in life. I know that one of my purposes in this world is to raise Baby Butterbean to be a wonderful person, and I fully intent to do my best. but I feel like that's not all. I feel the need to make a difference. to do something extraordinary. I almost have this feeling like I haven't started living yet. like there's something huge waiting for me just over the horizon, but I'm not getting any closer to it.

in any case, this has definitely effected everything aspect of my life, including this blog. when I came back after not writing for so long, I wanted to make sure that I kept this thing going. I swore I'd blog at least a couple times a week. and now, here I am, breaking that promise that I made myself.

so here I am friends, begging y'all to stick around. I swear I'm coming back, I've just got to work through some things. and once I figure out what those things are, it will be a lot easier!

4 comments:

B said...

Right there with you, like always. Hence the new dog, cut, dyed hair angst...

Miss Wendy said...

Take your time, I'm not going anywhere :)

I hope the funk doesn't last long though, that's totally not fun.

Little Momma said...

(hugs!)

mylittlebecky said...

it must be hard to be so isolated, i'm sorry. i'm bad about that too and i live around too many people. *internethugz!*

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