Friday, December 17, 2010

If This Leads to Divorce, Steve Jobs is Footing the Bill

Remember a few days ago when I professed my love for iBooks? And I so casually mentioned that when I got my new iPhone, the hubs got one too?

Yeeeeaah, that? Was a huge mistake.

He has downloaded every irritating app that he could find. Want a farting app? He's got it. An app that has a guinea pig that repeats what you say? Yup, he's got that too. Shotgun? Check! Zippo Lighter? Most certainly. 

And every single app either makes noise or plays music. And mind you, apparently he doesn't know what "TURN THE DAMNED VOLUME DOWN YOU MORON!" means. I've been a little bitchy since he got it last week.

I just don't understand how a grown man of 28 turns into a boy of 10 every time he unlocks his phone!! 

And I'm not sure how long I can keep from throat punching him.

I mean, I get it, it's new, and exciting, and waaaaay better than his old P.O.S. phone, and he wants to find out all that it does, but why, oh why, oh WHY, must he irritate me in the process. He knows that I'm very easily agitated, so why would he push his luck!? For Heaven's sake, his breathing gets on my nerves sometimes, doesn't he know what a loud noise making machine will do!? Just turn the volume down, or plug in the ear buds, or go in the other room if you have to, just get away from me if you're going to play with your damned whoopee cushion app. Yeah, he's got that one too. I made such a good choice when I picked him to be my husband, didn't I?

Anyvajazzle, I'm trying my best not to lose my cool, because I know that this phase will pass. Maybe I should just plug in my ear buds and blast Florence and The Machine at full volume. Maybe that will drowned out the engine revs when he's playing Crash Kart Bandicoot.


~The South Dakota Cowgirl~ said...

This is hilarious. I can't have an iphone b/c of where we live but I hear they're awesome. Apparently they're annoying too! Good luck tuning him out until the phase passes!

Melissa (A Gracious Calm) said...

I think a good throat punch might be enough to put him in his place. ;)

B said...

Oh no!

I would've already filed the paperwork. Ugh.

mylittlebecky said...

yeah, it's bad at first. chuck did that. it does get old though. for me and for him. but then i smashed it and now he has no phone because i smashed it. (ps i didn't smash it) (only a little)(actually, i mostly smashed his fingers)

andygirl said...

oh sweetie. these guys never grow up when it comes to techie things. seriously. never. no matter how old, they turn into 12 year olds. every time.

Ms. Salti said...

Try to beat him at his own game... it's the only way to get the point across!

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