Friday, December 31, 2010

Where Has It All Gone?

I don't normally "do" sappy posts around here. I try to keep them light and funny and as tear-free as possible.

But as I thought about what I wanted to write about in my 2010 wrap-up post, I realized that I was getting emotional.

This year has completely changed my life. It has handed me ups and downs and kicked my ass every time I turned the corner.

This time last year I was very pregnant, and very sad. I had just lost my grandfather, and I wasn't sure how to handle that while I was nine months pregnant. His passing has made for a rough year. With each milestone that Baby Butterbean accomplished and each holiday that we celebrated, it broke my heart a little to know that Papa wasn't there to witness them. I missed him so much. But, as these things do, my heart lightened a little with each passing day. I came to believe that he was watching over Baby Butterbean, and beaming with pride every time she did something new. A couple of months ago, she began to talk more and babble less. She started to recognize and identify things by their name, or, in some cases, their made up name. She knew who momma was, and who daddy was, and who Gigi was. She knew who the cat was and who the dog was. She had even learned to point out the horse. We were playing in the floor one day when she looked up at me and said, "Papa." I asked her to repeat what she said, and again she said, "Papa." I like to believe that he was there with us that day, and that she knew it. I know that she couldn't ask for a better guardian angel than her Papa.

Papa and cousin Cason Thanksgiving 2009

But, 2010 wasn't a totally horrible year. Sure, I had to have emergency gallbladder surgery, despite not having insurance at the time. And the hubs was laid off, which led to me temporarily freaking out. And we had to move to Pundunk, TX and leave my beloved Austin behind. But, 2010 also gave me amazing friends. I met Baby Butterbean's Godmother of Badassness, Becky this year, as well as B, who has become one of my best friends. I also met some amazing local bloggers, as well as some insanely funny people on twitter. Like, Andy, Jen, and, my newest BFF, Julie. I had some of my favorite bloggers guest post for my birthday week, and I even got to guest post for other bloggers! 

2010 also gave my Bama boys a National Championship (Roll Tide!) and my Saints a Super Bowl win (Who Dat!?).

But, the best thing that 2010 gave me was my beautiful daughter. Baby Butterbean has changed my life in so many ways. I'm a different person than I was one year ago today. My views, beliefs and priorities have changed. Everything shifted when I heard her first tiny cry. When I held her in my arms and she looked at me for the first time, I knew that nothing would ever be the same. She became my life, right then and there.

My everything

The only bad thing is she has grown so fast. This year has flown by. One day she's my sweet baby girl, and then? The next thing you know, she's practically a toddler. It breaks my heart.

But as much as 2010 pushed against me, I pushed right back. I can honestly say I've grown more in this year than I ever have. I've learned more and experienced more than any year before. No matter how many bad cards 2010 handed me, it'll always be the best year ever.


Christina said...

I'm glad you sucked it up and wrote a tear jerker. What a sweet post and what a sweet Papa.
Happy New Year!!

~KS said...

I don't think is sappy in any way... I think it's beautiful. I love reading everyone's "reflection" posts. I love how people choose to see the year, and what it has given them, or taken... and I am so sorry your Papa is not here, but in spirit he is. And your sweet little girl has a beautiful angel who will always watch over her. You are so blessed and I so glad to get a glimpse into your world now and then.
And thank you again for letting me post during your birthday week- I was so happy to do it.

andygirl said...

muah! love you much, lady. so glad to call you a friend.

Katie said...

No matter what this was obviously an amazing year for you! And I of course agree that Bama winning the 'ship only helped things.

Jen said...

My heart parts are warm and fuzzy.

Love it. Love you.

muah, muah, smoochie

brandy-son Zen master flash said...

I really liked reading this. It was real. Your baby is a doll - congratulations on her even if it has been awhile - I am new here ok? We had major job issues this last year with my hubby so I am hoping 2011 goes better. I think it's going to kick ass personally! Happy New Year - tomorrow!

Melissa (A Gracious Calm) said...

Time flies my friend. Even when you don't want it to. Happy New Year. :)

B said...

Right back atcha, babe! I'm so thankful and lucky to have you in my life :)

I completely agree with everything you said: about how time flies, how this year was hard, and yet, how it was the best year ever.

Here's to 2011, and much more time for you and I to be besties (and the girls to be baby besties!)

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