Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Mean Girls Have Nothing on These Women

Friends, let's talk for a minute. I'm gonna get a little "mommy blogger" today. There's something that's been bothering me for awhile, and I think it's time that I say something about it. Just get it off of my chest.

What is the deal with the Mean Mommies nowadays? Why is everyone so competitive with each other, and who gave anyone the idea that just because they have successfully raised a child for a year, that they've become an expert?

Now, maybe I'm a little naive, but I thought once I had Baby Butterbean, that I would instantly have a connection with other moms. I thought that I would be able to turn to my fellow mommies and ask for opinions or advice. Boy was I wrong. It seems that if you ask a mom for advice, she snubs you for not knowing the answer to the problem and then snickers about you behind your back to her Mean Mommy friends. Or, if you want to share your child's latest accomplishment, she feels the need to one-up you. A "my child is smarter/prettier/faster/better than your child" type of thing. And that? Is total crap. All children grow at different rates. Baby Butterbean didn't walk until after she was a year, but she was sitting up and crawling before she was 5 months. I promise that there are things that your kid can do better than my kid just the same as there are things that she can do better than your kid.

Then there's the whole "oh my, you don't breastfeed/co-sleep, how horrible!" nonsense. Or the "oh my, you vaccinate/let your child cry it out!?" judgment. Guess what ladies, some women aren't able to breastfeed! And some women don't want to breastfeed a 2/5/10 year old. Here's the thing, every parent is entitled to raise their child the way that they please. You think I'm weird for not breastfeeding or not co-sleeping? Well, maybe I think you're weird for breastfeeding and co-sleeping with your 3 year old. That doesn't mean that I should ostracize you because you do things differently than I do. My husband and I have reasons for raising our daughter the way we have. The only time that she has slept with us is whenever she's ran a high fever, and the time when we were on vacation and our hotel didn't have an extra crib. And guess what? Those nights that she slept with us were the nights that she slept the most restless. She tossed and turned and only slept about 7 hours. When she's in her own bed she sleeps 10-12 hours a night. And that whole cry it out thing? When we first started letting her put herself to sleep she cried for no more than 5 minutes and then drifted off to sleep. After the fifth night she didn't cry anymore. She now puts herself to sleep every night and at every nap. I can even ask her if she's ready to go to bed and she'll go to her room and stand by her crib. So, tell me, what have I done wrong? Did she ever doubt that we loved her because we let her cry for a few minutes? No. Absolutely not. She has turned out to be one of the most outgoing and well behaved children I've ever seen.

So, my advice to any Mean Mommies is this: chillax. Climb down off of your high horse and get your nose out of the air. Because there will be a time when your co-sleeping, breastfeeding, supposedly smarter child will throw a fit in the middle of the cereal aisle and my well behaved, independent, whole milk and sweet tea drinking daughter and I will stroll past you and smile. Maybe if you hadn't been such a Mean Mom, I'd offer my sympathy.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Andie said...

Oh yes the mommy camps. You are expected to pick them early and stay loyal. What a load of crap. I am now pregnant with #4 and such a different mom than I was with #1.
Being a mom is a tough job. And makes people seriously defensive. The choices are hard and I think we tend to criticize those that didn't make the same one as ourselves because it is easier than trying to see their side.
I feel ya!

Melissa said...

Co-sleeping seems too odd to me, I don't even like sharing a bed with Derek that much, LOL.

You should tell mean mommies to suck it. Just leave you alone.

Ms. Salti said...

I love it! Everyone is entitled to raise their kids as they see fit. The only reason ANYONE should pass judgement is if a child is being abused or neglected or needs help they aren't getting! And I'm not even a parent!

It seems to me that being a mom these days is the trendy thing to do. And going all-out when it comes to your kids is the only way to raise them. I'm with you. CTFO and just let your kids grow up with some love, guidance and discipline when necessary!

Oh Honestly Erin said...


There are so few moms I get along with because of every last thing you touched upon. I'm talking "in real life" and also on blogs, but I do feel Mommy Bloggers are way worse than any mom I've encountered offline. I get beef because I'm not all "I love being a mommy!" in my posts. But come on, we all have days when being a mom kind of sucks. But god, admit that openly on a blog and prepare to get cyber-clucked.

And EVERY child is awesome. Being competitive over things like that is just sad. :(

mylittlebecky said...

you need to pull out some pauly d wisdom from jersey shore and say, "yous do yous and wes do us." works in so many situations. :)

Pin It button on image hover