Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I'm Really Not That Vain

Obviously I have no problem writing about how adorable my kid is. I will also write all day long about how I think The Hubs is really sexeh, but I doubt that y'all want to read that, right? Right. Anyvajazzle, my point is, I have no problem bragging talking about my kiddo or my better half. I do, however, have a problem when it comes to talking about myself.

Friends? I hate bios.

About me's, author info pages, whatever you want to call them. I despise them.

Anytime I sign up for something that has an "About Me" section, I cringe. And this whole "Tell Us A Little About Yourself!" business doesn't make it any better. It's a bio section. They want you to write about yourself. Tell the world all about you, but don't make it too long. And you've gotta be funny. No one likes a damp towel. (right, Kora Bruce?) So, whenever I see these little boxes of evil, I nearly have a panic attack. How am I supposed to make people like me/love me/think I'm funny in this tiny little spot!? I mean, sure, I could get drunk and write something, but mostly likely, if the reader isn't drunk, they aren't going to think it's funny either!

Now, sure, I could talk about how awesome I am, because come on, we all know I have a rather high opinion of myself, but that won't work either. That's just going to make people think that I'm conceited, which is clearly not right. I'm just awesomely confident. There's a difference.

So, for the most part, since I'm apparently allergic to this About me business, I tend to stay away from them. But I'm am currently faced with a problem. I've been asked to start writing reviews for a website (more on that later!) and not only are they needing an actual photo of me, but they're needing me to write a bio. Cue the hyperventilating. What do I do!? What do I say!? Hi, I'm J and I like cheese!? I'm a stand still folks. So, I'm turning to my lovely followers for help. Tell me, what do you normally say in your About Me sections? Leave a comment, email me, tweet me, hell, send a courier pigeon, something that will help me with this daunting task, because they're wanting it by this evening!

I'll just be over here in the corner, with my big box of wine, waiting for inspiration to hit.

Xoxo and Happy Tuesday!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone


Collins said...

you crack me up! i would help but my head is really fuzzy b/c of my fever and snot. but i have faith you can do it! just write down a bunch of random stuff and then try to string it together. look at blogs and what they say in their about me section. i'm no help...sorry!
and yes, i would go with the wine....

Cathy Benavides said...

I would just say your a mom and wife around the Austin area. They say "I would tell you more, but I have to keep a low profile. Super heroes can only operate in secrecy. I've already said too much." That way you are awesome and funny and don't have to write much!

Melissa said...

Can't you just tell them that you're awesome?

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