Thursday, April 5, 2012

Why Do You Blog, Josie?

Y'all are in for a big ol' treat today! One of my newest favorite bloggers is swapping blogs with me and telling y'all why she blogs! I'm at her place, and she's taking over things here in my neck of the woods. So, welcome her with open arms, and then come on over to her place and visit with me!


Hi {An Unstyled Life’s} readers! My name is Josie and I blog over at Letters to Sophia. When J asked me to do a guest post for her I was really excited because I have never done one before! So because I’m a newbie at it I asked what she wanted me to write about and she mentioned what about why you blog. I immediately decided that that’s what I was going to write about because I've never actually shared why I do. 
Everyone has their own reasons for starting a blog and this is mine:
I’ve always enjoyed keeping a journal or using an online source to write about whatever came to my mind or what I was up to. I love being able to look back and remember what I was going through or what I was doing at that time. I still have a journal that I kept when I was 15 and I enjoy reading it every now and then. I even save planners from each year, it’s kind of weird.
I kind of stopped keeping a journal once I started college. I was just too busy and never had the time to really sit down and write. But during my third year of college I found out I was pregnant. Yes, my pregnancy was unexpected so I took it kind of hard. I wasn’t planning on having children for a while. I mean I was 20 years old, in college living in an apartment with three girls, and had barely any income. I cried for days but thanks to my family and friends they were able to be there for me and tell me that everything was going to be ok. 
Even though I had my family and friends I still felt like I couldn’t truly talk to anyone about how I was feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy that I’d be a mother and I had a perfectly healthy baby growing inside me, I was just worried. I think any new mom worries.
Around April of 2010, about a month after I found out I was pregnant; I decided that I needed somewhere to write. Somewhere I could just ramble about what I did during the days as a pregnant woman and how I felt and not worry about someone else judging me because of it. I needed somewhere to just let everything out. And trust me, when you’re pregnant and trying to finish up your junior and senior year of college, you need somewhere to vent.
I bought a cute little journal at Barnes and Nobles and started writing in it one night. I decided I’d write to my baby. I started it out as Dear Baby, and I went from there. As I wrote, I cried and cried. And after I was done writing and crying I felt so much better. I was able to put it away and feel happy the rest of the day.
After writing in it a few times I decided I wanted somewhere online to write because it’s just so much easier to type what I feel. So I started this blog. I kept it private at first with only a few readers and each post was a letter to my baby.
As I got further along in my pregnancy the writing kind of slowed down and I actually stopped blogging for a couple of months.
And then Sophia was born.
I was so happy to be a mother and was enjoying all my time with her while I was on maternity leave from school. 
After three weeks I went back to classes. I was in Morgantown alone with Sophia. Gary {my fiance} was an hour away finishing his school in a different town and my parents lived almost two hours away. I had my roommates and friends but they were busy with school too. I couldn't get into any daycares in Morgantown {they all had waiting lists} so when I did go to class I would have a friend watch Sophia, and I'm SO thankful for them doing that.
After about a month, things got real hard. It was harder for me to get my school work done and for me to find someone to watch Sophia while I was in class. I was just exhausted. 
I finally realized that I couldn't do it. That as much as I pushed and tried I just couldn't be a new mom and go to college full time so I called my mom in tears and just broke down to her.
After talking we finally decided that Sophia would stay with my mom during the week, two hours away, while I went to classes in Morgantown and I'd just come home every weekend. As much as it hurt me to leave my baby, I had to finish school. 
As soon as we hung up the phone I just held Sophia and cried and just kept saying "Sorry" to her. I cried so much that I had to take Sophia out to my roommate and I just went back in my room and laid there and cried. One of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. In fact, I'm crying now. I just felt like I failed but looking back now I know it was best for both Sophia and I. 
My mom got Sophia that day. It was the first time I was ever away from her. I felt lost and empty. I was hurting and I just cried for the longest time. The first few days were extremely hard but I started getting busy again with school and things got a little easier. My mom was able to send me pictures all day of her and it kept me going until I was able to drive and see her on the weekends.
I then decided to start writing to her again on here. And it was probably the best thing to help with how I was feeling. I would write to her and tell her about my day and how much I loved her and missed her.  I tried writing to her as much as I could and I kept it going for one whole semester until I finally graduated college and was able to be back with my baby. And we haven't been away from each other since. No more leaving my baby. 
Letters to Sophia then turned into sort of baby book where I share what we've been up to and tons of pictures. I have enjoyed keeping my blog. It has so much meaning to me and I'm able to look back and read how I was feeling during the hardest months of my life. 
I have been able to document our story and of course meet other mommy's and read their stories. I plan on blogging for as long as I can. You can also print your blog out into little books so you know that I'll have all these books for Sophia to read as she gets older. She'll be able to read our story.
And that's why I blog.



Crystal Renee said...

Beautiful story! Thanks for sharing!

Chris said...

Hi J, just stopping by to say how delightful your blog is. Thanks so much for sharing. I have recently found your blog and am now following you, and will visit often. Please stop by my blog and perhaps you would like to follow me also. Have a wonderful day. Hugs, Chris

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